There has never been a time in America where divorce is so widely accepted. Christians are getting out of Church and loosing touch with God. As a result, marriages are failing! It’s a shame to witness so many professing “Christians” willing to put away their spouses.
I believe every Church needs to step up the preaching on the subject of marriage. We need to hear it! God doesn’t want us to remain silent on this important topic. Silence will only result in indifference and more broken relationships.
There’s nothing that can hurt a Church more than neglecting to preach truth. The Bible has a lot to say about marriage, but why do we rarely hear it from the pulpit? The problem I’ve witnessed is most preachers assume there’s no need to strengthen the congregation in this area; they just want to adhere to preaching repentance and salvation. However, our Lord was not of this opinion. Let’s see what He had to say…
Luke 16:18: ¶Whosoever putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth adultery, and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Jesus is providing a simple definition of adultery in this passage. It says that if you put away your spouse and remarry, you commit adultery! Adultery is a sin God has forbidden for several thousand years. When He Himself wrote His Law on a stone for Moses, He said, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
Causing Others to Sin
No one can commit this awful crime against God and claim to have His grace. You may have salvation from Hell, but you lack the favor of God and His fellowship. This is made apparent in your mindset; if you’re okay to put away your spouse, you don’t share God’s mind. God is against adultery.
Adultery is not only a crime against God but also against many others. People who put away their spouses for another cause that new person to commit adultery too! We see this in the words of Christ saying, “Whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” This should cause any person to think twice before marrying someone divorced. For how can they really love you and let you offend God in this way?
Divorce causes innocent people to transgress against God. It tempts single men and women to enter into a relationship God forbids. As a result, sexual sins are usually committed until the new marriage takes place. Abstaining from a sexual relationship after marriage is extremely difficult, because those passions are awake. It’s also doubtful that a person will stay pure, if they can’t stay married.
What if I No Longer Love My Spouse?
Love is a decision that effects our affections. Anyone who loves must decide to love. Some people love many people, which is usually the case for a young adult. The problem is many people take years to mature past the young adult stage of life.
The young adult stage of life describes the time in life when we are controlled by impulses. Many marriages end in divorce today because one or both of the spouses failed to graduate this stage. Their affections cause them to bounce from loving one person to the next.
Colossians 3:2: Set your affection on things above, not on things on the Earth.
Every true born again Christian has Christ in them as their life. Therefore, we should desire and allow Him to fill our entire being. Entering into such communion with the Lord will help you love your spouse, because it will be His love flowing through you.
The Bible commands Christians to set their affections on things above. Marriage is one of those things. God established marriage between Adam and Eve in the beginning. Since that time, He has never willed the marriage relationship to be broken, because it is He that joins couples together. We need to adopt His way of thinking.
Couples fall out of love because love for God is missing. The Bible says “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”
The world promotes divorce, but only because God’s love is absent. When Christians start thinking, believing, and following after the world there is something internally wrong with that person.
God Ordains Marriage
The Bible says God ordains marriage, but the problem is men tear them apart. In order to put away your spouse, you must have a hard heart.
Nowhere in the New Testament do we see God fearing people desiring to separate from their spouses. It’s not normal for a Christian to desire a divorce. The world wants us to think otherwise, but we refuse, because we love and fear God.
Matthew 19:3-6: ¶The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
What many people fail to understand is God ordains marriage. The Bible says, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” No man should separate or allow a separation of any married couple.
God joins people together in holy matrimony, and that is for life. Holy unions established by God are meant to last forever. Marriage is pure and good in God’s eyes.
I Was Not Ready
Many people marry before they are ready. In fact, almost every man marries before he is ready. More men tend struggle with purity than women. I’d say that 9 times out of 10 a man’s struggle for purity is present on his wedding day. Some women have the same struggle. This is the most common type of person not ready for marriage. However, it’s these people who need to marry to avoid fornication!
Hebrews 13:4: Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
In all ways, no matter the situation, marriage is worthy of honor. However, God judges those who brake matrimony or have any part in engaging in an adulterous relationship.
Some people marry before they are ready, but this is no reason to separate later. Whatever, the situation, remember God joins couples together.
1 Corinthians 7:2: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Christians are to avoid fornication; marriage is what makes it possible for people struggling with sexual sin. Even premature marriages of this sort are to remain.
Actually, couples who engage in a sexual relationship are never permitted to separate in the Bible. When something like this happened, a dowry of virginity was required to the girl’s father, and the Law told the man “he may not put her away all his days,” Deuteronomy 22:29.
Are You Willing to Put Away & Remain Single?
Christians are bound by the Law of Marriage as long as both spouses are living (Romans 7:2-3). You already know that it’s the will of God for you to stay married, but what if your spouse doesn’t care anymore?
Every marriage is worth fighting for, yes, and even abusive marriages. Now, if there is physical abuse happening, then you should ask yourself a few questions. First, why is he or she abusing me? Second, is there something I can do to prevent the abuse? Third, is there a way out?
A thought to help you make a decision whether you should try to fix a physically abusive relationship is whether the abuse outweighs God’s will for you to stay together. I dare say if you are contemplating divorce on account of an abusive situation, then you should seek help. If it’s serious enough to separate, then it’s serious enough to seek justice.
Separation is always the last option. Before any couple separates, extreme preventive measures should be taken. Professional help is recommended, but it shouldn’t be with your Pastor. Every Church should have qualified counselors (Prov. 11:14), but it may cause more problems if it’s the Pastor.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11: And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband, 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Men tend to find reasons to put away their spouses, but God doesn’t will it. If in your mind there is a reason to divorce, you still can’t commit adultery. The Bible says to remain unmarried or be reconciled if you divorce. Otherwise, you commit adultery and cause someone else to sin also. Is it worth it?